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This was one of the scripts that was tied for first. "A Castle is Not a Home" is next but for now, here's "The Unreal Ghostbusters".

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(The curtain rises on Ice Land presenting the title card.)

(Mario, Luigi, Princess and Toad approach a massive fort's front steps.)

Mario: Here we are, Fort Glacier.

Princess: This place sure is huge.

Toad: Not as big as Koopa's ego.

(Luigi looks around frantically)

Princess: What are you doing, Luigi?

Luigi: You know every time we say Koopa's name, his Doomship appears?

Toad: I don't see it, unless we mistake it for something else.

Mario: If I had a pasta meal for every time that happened, I'd weigh more than a Sledge Brother.

Princess: Let's go inside. Duke Rhinehart's expecting us.

(They walk up the steps. Once they're inside, Kootie Pie, Hip and Hop peek over a railing. They drop off and call Cheatsy with a wand.)

Kootie Pie: Do your stuff, Cheatsy.

Cheatsy: I'll show them a cheat in shining armor.

(Cheatsy lowers a knight's helmet, revealing he is hiding in platemail armor. Inside the fort, Duke Rhinehart, a tall thin Mushroomer, paces.)

Duke Rhinehart: What am I gonna tell them? How will they react? Oh, I can't do this!

Mario: (off-screen) Hey, Duke!

(The duke yelps and hides behind his throne as Mario, Luigi, Princess and Toad come to him.)

Toad: Looks like you're spooked, Duke.

Duke: I am. Plus I haven't been getting much sleep.

Princess: Why not?

Duke: I called you over because I fear Fort Glacier may be haunted.

Luigi: Haunted!? Oh no!

Mario: Rhinehart, I'm so glad you came to us for help.

Luigi: I'm not!

(Cheatsy watches them and opens the helmet again.)

Cheatsy: This is even better than I thought!

(Cheatsy closes the helmet with a loud squeak and slam. Luigi jumps in the duke's arms and they both scream.)

Princess: This is even worse than I thought.

Duke: (puts Luigi down) See? I keep hearing strange noises just like that one.

Toad: So do I, then I realize it's only Mario snoring.

Mario: You're going to be hearing that here tonight.

Luigi: *gulp* You don't mean-

Mario: I do. Tonight, we're going to scope this place out.

Duke: Thanks! I knew I could count on you.

Luigi: Yeah, thanks.

Princess: Why don't you give us the grand tour first?

Duke: Certainly, Princess. This way. (leads them out of the throne room)

Cheatsy: O-ho-ho, We'll give you a grand tour you'll never forget. (jumps out of the helmet and calls Kootie Pie with his wand.)

Kootie Pie: How'd it go?

Cheatsy: Duke Rhinehart's afraid of some widdle ghosts.

Hip, Hop and Kootie Pie: Ghosts? (they laugh)

Hip: Is that all?

Hop: More like Duke Whinehart!

(The laughter stops.)

Kootie Pie: Hey! What do you say we Koop in on their little slumber party and scare up some fun in the process?

Hip: Good-

Hop: Idea!

Cheatsy: I like the way you think, Kootie Pie.

Kootie Pie: Let's make that the only thing you like about me.

(Duke Rhinehart's bedroom that night. the men are in their pajamas with Princess in a nightgown. Mario and Luigi pump an air mattress while Toad and the duke lay sleeping bags across the floor.)

Luigi: Let's synchonize watches.

Toad: Good idea.

Mario: I'll take midnight to three.

Toad: I'll have three to six.

Luigi: Who gets nine to midnight?

(Mario and Toad look at Luigi menacingly.)

Luigi: (slaps his forehead) Sorry I asked.

Princess: Come on, Luigi. All you have to do is wake us up if you see or hear anything.

(The duke crawls into his canopy bed and puts on a nightcap. Princess sets up her bedding on the air mattress and tucks herself in. Mairo and Toad fall asleep in their sleeping bags.)

Duke: That should be no problem. I'll already be up.

Princess: I mean anything troublesome, of course.

Luigi: (walks out the doorway) I hope these three hours go by fast.

(In Fort Glacier's basement, Hip, Hop, Kootie Pie and Cheasty jump out of a Warp Pipe. They call Koopa with their wand.)

Cheatsy: Our scouting mission was a success, Pop.

Koopa: (laughs) Soon Fort Glacier will be property of the Koopas!

Kootie Pie: First we have to cleanse it of those putrid plumbers.

Koopa: I have it under control, Babykins. Here come the ghosts!

(A giant cage with hundreds of Boo Diddlies lowers from the Doomship and opens. They fly towards the fort and out of the Warp Pipe, making the Koopa Kids scream. Outside the duke's room, Luigi jumps.)

Luigi: What was that!? (runs in the room, everybody wakes up)

Duke: See? What'd I tell you? (hides under the covers) This place IS haunted!

Mario: Let's go check it out.

Luigi: I was afraid you'd say that.

Duke: You guys go ahead. I'll wait right here.

Toad: Suit yourself.

Princess: (lighting a candle) Everything will be fine, Duke. Trust us.

(The Mario Bros, Princess and Toad walk out of the bedroom and sneak down a corridor.)

Luigi: This place is giving me the creeps.

Toad: At least that big creep Koopa ain't here.

Mario: No, but we have others to worry about!

(Mario and company look behind and see dozens of Boo Diddlies staring back at them. Princess screams and throws her candle which goes out, darkening the area.)

Luigi: Zoiks! Duke Rhinehart wasn't kidding!

(The Marios rush down the hall, turn a corner but find it blocked by even more Boo Diddlies. They look back to find themselves outnumbered. One group of ghosts gives way to four Chain Chomps who latch themselves to the Marios. Koopa shows up, laughing.)

Princess: You!

Koopa: Yeah, me. Who'd ya expect, Dr. Claw?

Mario: You'll never get away with this!

Koopa: Watch me! Boo Diddlies, take them to the dungeon. I'll have a word with Duke Rhinehart.

Luigi: (as they're being dragged away) Couldn't you maybe talk to him, I dunno, next Saturday at 8:30?

Koopa: Nah. I'll have conquered the Mushroom Kingdom by then.

(The Boo Diddlies lead Mario and his friends to the dungeon. Hip, Hop, Cheatsy and Kootie Pie await them.)

Kootie Pie: Well, well. Look what the cats dragged in!

(The Koopa Kids shackle the Marios to a wall.)

Cheatsy: Ah, togetherness. (the Koopa Kids laugh.)

Kootie Pie: C'mon! Let's ditch this joint! I want to see the look on King Daddy's face when he takes care of business with Duke Whiny.

(They take off, some Boo Diddlies watch over the Marios.)

(Upstairs in Duke Rhinehart's room, heavy footsteps draw near.)

Koopa: Heeeeeeere's Koopa! (the duke dives under his bed as he enters) Hey, Lionheart! I've got a proposition for ya! Duke?

(Hip, Hop, Cheatsy and Kootie Pie approach him from behind.)

Hop: Hey, King Dad!

Hip: What's the matter?

Koopa: Funny, I could have sworn this was the duke's bedroom.

Cheatsy: Do you honestly need him to take over the fort, King Dad?

Koopa: My boy, you're absolutely right. There isn't a thing he can do anyway.

(Duke peers from under the bed and eavesdrops on the conversation.)

Kootie Pie: Except maybe scream and hide from the Boo Diddlies we brought to his fort.

Cheatsy: You owe it all to me when I investigated his worst fear.

Hip: And with Mario in the dungeon,

Hop: Nothing can stop us!

Koopa: You make me so proud. As a reward, this entire fort is all yours!

(The Koopa Kids cheer and leave with Koopa.)

Duke: (emerges from his bed) Koopas! I should have known! It's no use running scared, I need to save Mario!

(The duke glances down both ways of the corridor from his room. He spies a magic wand on the floor.)

Duke: I guess their father never orders them to put their toys away.

(He looks behind to see some Boo Diddlies sneaking behind him. Shielding his eyes with one hand, he waves the wand with the other. The ghosts retreat from the ensuing beams. The duke looks at the wand and smiles.)

(Down in the dungeon, other Boo Diddlies resume their watch over the Marios.)

Mario: Hey! I bet his face is scarier than yours!

(The Boo Diddlies turn toward each other and make escalating scarier faces.)

Luigi: I don't know, those faces sure are scary to me!

Toad: You're adding fuel to the fire.

Princess: Speaking of which.

(Several frightened Boo Diddlies rush down the stairs. The duke chases them with his wand.)

Toad: It's Duke Rhinehart!

Duke: Away! (waves wand) I'm not afraid of you!

(All the Boo Diddlies see the duke is armed and float upstairs.)

Princess: Great job, Duke!

Luigi: Now, can you get us out?

Duke: I'll try.

(Duke zaps the shackles but instead of unlocking them, he rips them off the wall. The Marios land on their feet.)

Duke: Whoops.

Toad: (gets up, the chains rattle) Thanks, kind of.

Duke: Wait a minute, this gives me an idea!

Princess: What is it?

Duke: (huddles with the Marios) With you all chained up, we can scare the scales right off those Koopas. Here's how... (his voice degenerates to a whisper)

(In the grand hall, Cheatsy and Kootie Pie shove each other on the throne.)

Cheatsy: Move it, sis! This throne ain't big enough for the both of us.

Kootie Pie: Then get off!

(Hip and Hop look over blueprints.)

Hip: I think we should put the Dry Bones pit here.

Hop: That's where the hall of mirrors is going.

Cheatsy: What are you two doing?

Hip: We're turning this fort-

Hop: Into a funhouse!

Kootie Pie: Doesn't sound like fun to me.

Cheatsy: If I had a mind, I'd (reaches for wand) Hey! My wand!

Kootie: Ha! Double cross yourself much?

Cheatsy: I must have left it in Duke's bedroom.

Duke: (off-screen) Looking for this?

(The four Koopas look at the duke tossing the wand.)

Cheatsy: That's mine!

Duke: Catch me if you can!

(The Koopa Kids run after him through the halls.)

Cheatsy: My wand and Fort Glacier are as good as ours!

Duke: Oh, funny you should mention my fort.

(The chase ends in the duke's bedroom.)

Hip: It's over, Duke!

Hop: So hand it over!

Duke: (backs up to his closet) This place was haunted even before you planted your specters here.

Kootie Pie: Wait, what?

Duke: Say, "Ah!"

(Duke opens the closet door revealing the Marios in ghost disguises. The Koopa Kids are too scared to tell it's them.)

Cheatsy, Kootie Pie, Hip and Hop: AAAAAHHH!!

(Mario and his friends charge the Koopas. The song "We're the Ghosts" starts up.)

We're the ghosts (Boo! Boo!)
We're coming after you
We're the ghosts (Boo! Boo!)
You better get out, too
We may not be invisible
We may not fly
But we'll spook you so bad
You'll jump to the sky
Of course you can run
But don't try to hide
We'll make you regret it
So swallow your pride
We're the ghosts (Boo! Boo!)
We're coming after you
We're the ghosts (Boo! Boo!)
You better get out, too
We're the ghosts (Boo! Boo!)
We're coming after you
We're the ghosts (Boo! Boo!)
So get out! Boo!

(Kootie Pie jumps in Cheatsy's arms after they run into Luigi behind a corner. Toad makes two scary faces at a petrified Hip and Hop, the second causing them to run. Princess wraps Cheatsy's foot around a chain. Hip and Hop free him and they catch up to Kootie Pie. Outside, Koopa is mystified at the commmotion in the fort. He sees the Koopa Kids and Boo Diddlies rush out the entrance, knocking him down. Mario stands at the entrance, terrifying Koopa who doesn't notice it's him. They all sprint to the Doomship which retreats as the song ends.)

(The next morning. The freed Marios and Duke Rhinehart are in their normal clothes. The duke and Mario shake hands.)

Duke: I have the strangest feeling, Mario.

Mario: What's that?

Duke: Koopa actually helped cure my fear of ghosts.

Princess: Huh!?

Toad: No way!

Luigi: Does that mean you're gonna thank him personally?

Duke: Me? Not a ghost of a chance!

(Everyone laughs as the curtain falls.)

The End

This looks pretty good. It reminds me of the old Scooby Doo cartoons, which was full of ghosts and stuff.

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http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/
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Yeah, this one was heavily influenced by the Scooby Doo cartoons with a main focus on the horror aspect. Glad you like.

This was fun to read and written well, nice job. I was somewhat expecting this to reference Ghostbusters itself, but it took more of a Scooby Doo direction, so that's cool.

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The title is a play on The Real Ghostbusters, a show that along with the Mario cartoons was produced by the former DiC Entertainment. Plus now that I think about it, it's kind of akin to "The Ugly Mermaid" which had little in connection with The Little Mermaid. Glad you like it, SY.